The past three months, Doy has been working late hours getting his on-the-job culinary arts training at a 5-star hotel. It was difficult for him to adjust at first, having been a husband and father who rarely came home beyond 5pm for the past 12 years. He doesn't like it when he arrives home late and the kids are already asleep. For him, a father's constant presence is required for a child to grow up the happy, healthy way.So, early in the morning he wakes them up. Miguel and Mia sleepily march out of the room and head for the couch, where the three of them snuggle even for just a few minutes before getting ready for school. Every single moment he spends with the little ones, he cherishes.
You may give your children all the latest expensive electronic gadgets to keep them entertained while you're out killing time on other preoccupations, but these will never make up for your absence.
I admire fathers who take their fathering job seriously. When Doy's best friend, William, was here on vacation from the US, I noticed that he loved reading bedtime stories to his son, Will, and daughter, Adiel. When Will misbehaved, his daddy would bring him inside the room and reprimand him quietly. And the little boy would come out of the room feeling sincerely sorry and eager to play again.
Last week during our kids' school sportsfest (when he probably thought I wasn't looking), my friend and former classmate, James, lugge
d a set of picnic table & chairs around for three days, with a lunch bag full of snacks and drinks for his two boys, Neil and Ethan. During breaks, his kids would run to him and he would wipe the sweat off their heads and backs, feed them, sanitize their hands with alcohol, and sprinkle them with talcum powder when the games were over.This kind of fathering you don't learn overnight. It takes years of practice. I am certain that dads who never helped their wives with changing diapers, giving baths, and babysitting would have no idea how to take care of their children when the moms are not around. But for the fathers who do care, their child-rearing experiences have prepared them for battle -- nothing could make them anxious. An afternoon alone with the little ones sans Mommy? Piece of cake. A day at the mall with a 3-year-old? Bring it on.
Thankfully, I personally know quite a number of men who do nurture their children. These men know the essence of being a father. Just like this dad who once told this story:
It so happened that I was sitting and observing a group of boys, including my son, who sat in a circle nearby. Their conversation went like this:
Child A: "My daddy is a doctor and he makes a lot of money and we have a swimming pool."Child B: "My daddy is a lawyer and he flies to Washington and talks to the president."
Child C: "My daddy owns a company and we have our own airplane."
Then my son (with aplomb, of course) looking proudly in my direction: "My daddy is here!"
Men like these may go unnoticed. Some of them will go through life seemingl
y unappreciated. But God is pleased (and their wives are blessed!). When their children grow up and become good leaders, great parents, and responsible human beings -- then these fathers will know that all the little things they did were not done in vain. It is their legacy to the world.Proverbs 20:7 Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.
