Secrets

I have a secret.  I've kept it for 30 years. My husband only knew about it a few months ago when it suddenly grazed by mind. I didn't realize that I had buried it deep inside the part of my brain where only fleeting childhood memories reside.

The year was probably 1984, when I was eight years old. We had just moved into our home in Sunny Hills where there weren't many houses yet. There were three huge mansanitas trees outside our fence which we climbed all the time and sucked on the fruit.

Our house had a basement where my nanny slept, and where I would sleep sometimes -- but only when my mom didn't need my company. My dad was usually out of the country, and whenever he was abroad, I slept upstairs with my mom.

One night, however, I chose to sleep in the basement. My nanny, Ate Vicky, was reading her Bible when I got downstairs, and just like any other little girl, I wanted to play so I kept bugging her. She scolded me a few times but I wouldn't listen.

I woke up the next morning to Ate Vicky's hysterical voice. At first I wondered what all the hullabaloo was about, and that's when I noticed that my shirt was soaked in blood. And so was the towel on my back (you know, hand towels grown-ups put on your back when you sweat). What was frightening about it was that it was fresh, wet blood, with a stink like that of rusty iron.

Ate Vicky searched me and asked if I was hurt. I wasn't. I was too young to have my period, and besides, there was no blood in my underwear and shorts. If Ate Vicky panicked, you should have seen my mom -- I could still remember her fretting and talking too much, demanding to know what happened. There was no possible explanation for it except that I had misbehaved the night before. Ate Vicky said it must have been because I kept interrupting her Bible-reading and prayer time that something supernatural befell me.

I was a terrified little girl that morning. My mom and Ate Vicky brought me outside and cleaned me up with the water hose. I remember exactly where I stood while they undressed me. But I don't remember much after that -- just the fact that I was silent and scared the next few days.

There were three things I learned that day:

1. First, DON'T MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD.
2. Second, IF EVIL WAS REAL, THEN GOD WAS REAL.
3. And lastly, IF EVIL WAS REAL, AND GOD WAS REAL, I WANTED TO BE ON THE WINNING TEAM.

I would probably have had a hard time moving on if my sister hadn't shared to me the FOUR RULES OF LIFE the following year (see my previous blog) when I turned nine. When I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, John 1:12 became real to me: "Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God—" And being a child of God had its privileges. Evil quivers at the name of Jesus.

When our own house was being constructed 11 years ago, the carpenters said that they would hear somebody taking a bath in the middle of the night. The bathroom was the first room finished after a few months, so we used it even if the rest of the house was still under construction. One time, at noon on a very hot summer's day, I went to use the bathroom and was shocked to find the walls and floor tiles dripping wet. Yet the ceiling was completely dry. The house had been locked and nobody had used the bathroom since that morning. I asked our helper if she had been in the house, and when she saw the bathroom, she became as pale as a ghost. Nobody had gone inside.

I rebuked all the spirits playing there in the name of Jesus, told them they couldn't touch me because I was God's daughter, and asked God's angels to banish them where they couldn't bother us anymore. Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We have lived in this house for 10 years now and by God's grace, we have not seen anything spooky ever since.

A word of warning though before you suddenly begin to rebuke demons in Jesus' name. I am reminded of a story in the Book of Acts, chapter 19. There were some Jews who went from town to town driving out evil spirits from the demon-possessed using the name of Jesus, saying "In the name of the Jesus whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out." And one day, the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?" And the evil spirit jumped on them, overpowered and attacked them till they were naked and bleeding.

Before deciding to deal with demons, make sure you are a child of God. Because it is not by your power that they flee; it is only by God's power in you.

Going back to my bloody incident -- however creepy it may have seemed, I'm glad I was reminded of it. To recall that once I was in a state of dread and helplessness, but now I have victory over my own fears through Jesus. It is a peace that passes understanding. I no longer cringe in the darkness but bask in the light.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence
of my enemies." Psalm 23: 4-5a

Light Bulb Moments

I'm almost 38 years old. No use denying your age when all people actually do Math and can easily subtract 1976 from 2014. I'm now literally in the "middle ages".

Throughout the years, I have had what I'd like to call my "Light Bulb Moments" (LBM's for short). You know, moments when a spontaneous bright idea flashes in your head. Sort of like when Archimedes cried, "Eureka!" from his bath tub and ran through the streets of Syracuse naked.

Among the many LBM's I've had (suddenly, it sounds gross), there are a few significant ones.

I was 13 when I met the very elusive X and Y. I almost flunked Algebra in first year high school. And school being Cebu City National Science High School only made things worse. I was seated beside one of our Math wizards, Mario, who was more often than not busy talking to me than listening to our teacher. Fortunately for Mario, his big brain already understood Algebra. He could probably solve problems in his sleep! Unfortunately for my little brain, I didn't have a clue. Surprise quizzes gave me slight panic attacks. I just couldn't get it. Thankfully, my algebraic Light Bulb Moment arrived on my first year of college at University of the Philippines. I finally figured it out! Suddenly X and Y were my BFF's. I was so happy I aced that class, I almost threw a party for myself.

Several Light Bulb Moments came when I was nine years old.

First, I realized how a male and a female biologically fit together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle. No, I didn't see any R-rated movies, nor did I learn it in any class. It was just plain common sense. Then, it also dawned on me where all the languages in the world came from. Sure, I heard about the Tower of Babel in Sunday School all the time. But that very day when I had that LBM, Genesis 11 went from being "just a Bible story" to being a historical fact. Only a brilliant God could think of that!

My most favorite Light Bulb Moment was when I knew who I was going to marry. I was still nine, playing on this huge green swing with my nanny, when I first saw this drop-dead gorgeous 18-year-old hunk who was in a nearby playhouse with his one-year-old nephew, Nigel (Get the picture? Good-looking guy. Loves kids!). The moment I laid eyes on him, I thought, "I'm going to marry this guy someday." And I did--12 years later. Best LBM ever.

Then came a serious one. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior on May 29, 1985 after my sister shared to me the 4 Rules of Life. To sum it up plainly, the rules are:

1. God loves me.
2. I have sinned.
3. Jesus died for me.
4. I must decide to live for Jesus.

I understood it back then, but it took me a number of years to figure out why Jesus was the ultimate solution for my sin--and the world's sin for that matter.

The LBM came when I realized the significance of a Bible story, which again made sense of it all. It was the story of Adam and Eve and how their decision to disobey God and eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil led to a series of unfortunate events for all mankind.

I always wondered why Hebrews 9:22 says "...if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven." At first, it sounds kind of morbid. And then it occurred to me, blood had to be shed in the Garden of Eden to cover up Adam and Eve's nakedness. Genesis 3:21 states that God covered their nakedness with leather clothing.  Leather comes from animals, and animal skin could only come from slaughtered animals. To make a long story short, someone gave his life up for Adam and Eve's gigantic error. If the payment for sin was death, the solution had to be a life for a life. A loving God had to remain holy and just. A holy God and righteous judge wouldn't let sin go unpunished.  Jesus became the sacrificial Lamb of God.

After that, everything just made sense to me--Cain & Abel, the Jews' sacrifice of animals for the atonement of sins, the Passover, Abraham & Isaac--they all became light bulbs flashing before my eyes. Jesus, fully human and fully God, became the ultimate solution for sin when He died on the cross once and for all more than 2000 years ago. It was His blood that brought about forgiveness. And forgiveness was free to all who accept Him as Lord and Savior.

That was also when I realized why John 3:16, the first Bible verse I could memorize, pretty much summed up for me all the other important verses I knew. It actually contains the 4 Rules of Life. "For God so loved the world (Rule 1) that He gave His only begotten Son (Rule 3) that whosoever believes in Him (Rule 4) will not perish (Rule 2) but have eternal life." Overall, that was the biggest Light Bulb Moment in my existence.

We celebrate Jesus' victory on the cross this Holy Week. I hope it becomes a Light Bulb Moment for you too.

Pray. Ask God for forgiveness for all the commandments you have broken; the sins you keep committing. Accept Jesus as your sacrificial Lamb. And decide to live for Jesus.