Kids Say the Darndest Things 16

(Mia and Mommy just ate lunch)
MIA:  "Mommy, can I have some ice cream?"
MOMMY:  "But you just told me you were already full."
MIA:  "I think my food gas is full, but my ice cream gas is low."


(Singing to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" from my Glee cd)
LADY GAGA:  "I don't wanna be friends...  I don't wanna be friends..."
MIA:  "But, Mommy, how come she doesn't want to be French?"


(Miguel and Mia are playing games on the computer, but Miguel keeps glancing at the television)
MIA:  "Kuya, I see you're being distracted by the TV."
MIGUEL:  "No uy."
MIA:  "Ugggh.  I see you also looking at the TV!"
(The sister is super strict!)


(Passing by the University of the Philippines)
MOMMY:  "This is where Mommy went to college, you know."
MIGUEL:  "Ummm...Mommy, why is there a naked guy standing in front of your school?"


(Listening to a song entitled "Fire" by Krystal Meyers)
MEYERS:  "I know that it's your will, So I'm gonna shine until, I'm a city on a hill, And they can see you."
MIA:  "Huh?  City on a hill -- that's a talampas!"


(Trying to trick the little ones to eat fruitcake with me)
MOMMY:  "Okay, who wants to eat popcorn?"
MIGUEL and MIA:  "Me!  Me!  Me!"
MOMMY:  "Who wants to eat ice cream?"
MIGUEL and MIA:  "Me!  Me!  Me!"
MOMMY:  "Yay.  Who wants to eat fruitcake?"
MIGUEL and MIA:  (Silent for 5 seconds)
MIA:  "Cricket sound...eeh...eeh...eeh."


(Daddy took the kids on a breakfast date at Jollibee)
MIA:  "Mommy, you know, when we went to Jollibee last Sunday with Daddy, there were a lot of Japanese!"
MOMMY:  "Really?"
MIA:  "Yes!  And you know why we know?"
MOMMY:  "Why?"
MIA:  "They actually look Chinese, but Daddy knew they were Japanese because of their language!"

(Mommy is trying to get Miguel to play Scrabble with her)

MOMMY:  "Kuya, come na and play Scrabble with me!"

MIGUEL:  "Later na, Mommy.  I still want to play on the computer."

MOMMY:  "Ay, sige na, I won't prepare snacks for you if you don't play Scrabble."

MIGUEL:  "Ugggh, Mommy, I don't even force you to play with me!"

(Miguel and Mia are on a date with Tita Gingging and Mama Claire at a coffee shop in the mall)
MIGUEL:  "Tita Gingging, I want to drink a chocolate milkshake but they don't have it here."
TITA GINGGING:  "Okay, just go to Bo's Coffee and buy your milkshake there."
MAMA CLAIRE:  "Do you know where it is, Miguel?  You might get lost!"
MIGUEL:  "It's just next door, Mama."
(Later, when Mama and Mia were in the comfort room)
MIGUEL:  "Tita Gingging, Mama worries too much, 'no?"
TITA GINGGING:  "Yeah.  She does."
MIGUEL:  "She needs to lighten up.  She needs to find inner peace."

Sunday Morning Spur-of-the-Moments

Every second Sunday of the month, I have an early breakfast board meeting. So my husband makes this day his breakfast date with the kids. They usually go to Jollibee, have two-piece burger steaks or pancakes with honey, and bond with each other.


Last Sunday was such a day, only after breakfast, they stopped by a bank to withdraw some money. There were two scruffy, greasy little boys sleeping on the ground right outside the bank (banks are closed on Sundays). Feeling sorry for them, Miguel said, "Daddy, should we buy bread for those children?" Doy thought it was a good idea, so they drove to a nearby bakeshop and bought four pieces of medium-sized bread before going in a circle back to the bank.


Just as they parked, another shabby-looking kid knocked on the car window, begging for alms.  Miguel gave him a piece of bread (which he was grateful for) and proceeded to the two sleeping boys. He tried to wake them up but they were fast asleep. Because he doesn't know how to speak Cebuano, he asked his dad to be the one to wake them up instead. Doy nudged the boys awake and gave them each a piece of bread. One boy stared at the bread and said thanks, but the other one just held it in his hand and went right back to his nap!


As they drove away, Miguel and Mia felt happy that they were able to give food to three little boys who didn't have money to buy any, and who probably didn't have any parents to look after them. And since there was one piece of bread left, they both broke it in two and each ate one half.


During super devo that night, we discussed why it is better to give than to receive. They realized that they were blessed because they had parents who loved and cared for them, a bed to sleep in, a blanket to keep them warm at night, and a roof to protect them from the rain. And as we prayed, they thanked God for this blessing.


What a lesson to learn on one extraordinary morning. Don't pass up an opportunity to train your kids. It's one of the biggest investments of your life, and it will bring you back many happy returns.

Pro 22:6  Teach your children right from wrong, and when they are grown they will still do right. 

My 1.1.11 Thanksgiving List

First things first.  I thank God for family -- mom, dad, brothers, sister, in-laws, nephews, nieces, cousins, and ummm...the aunts and uncles that I know (I have 21 pairs I think, and I haven't met all of them).  Everyone I love is alive, healthy, and well.  And nobody wants to kill each other yet, so that's good.


I thank God for my husband, who makes married life with him like a walk in the park.  It's been a record-breaking 52 weeks -- we haven't had the chance to bicker with each other.  Normally, we have one minor altercation per year, but perhaps the initial appearance of gray hair on our heads has helped us forget to pick a fight for 2010.  Perhaps this year we'll remember to start a war so we can declare a ceasefire, kiss, and make up (not that I'm contemplating any).  Doy woke me up early this morning with a hug and said, "Thanks, babe, for being a great wife, for supporting me, and for laughing at my corny jokes." Awwww.  (This one's for the record, so I can bribe him in the future hehe.)


I thank God for a son and a daughter who seem to be slipping through my fingers all the time.  How fast they've grown!  I'm grateful for Mia, who despite the young age of 5, graduated with honors from kindergarten.  She also placed 3rd in her first storytelling contest!  And what an affectionate and sweet-tempered little lady to have in the house.  Miguel, too, won 1st place in his first cookie baking competition and is proving to be just like his chef dad in the kitchen.  It is wonderful to have given birth to a boy with a good heart.  Most of all, they are obedient and lovable children.  I wouldn't exchange them for anything in the world even if I had seven days to think about it (you could do that at SM, you know -- just bring the receipt).


I thank God for friends -- in Facebook, Multiply, and those "unaccounted" for (AKA those with no online accounts).  I actually found some friends and long-lost classmates through the social network this year!  Even if I don't quite see them in person, it's nice to know what they are up to these days, and moreover, what they look like!  Without FB photos, I'd probably keep bumping into them at the mall and not recognize their faces.  So thank God for the World Wide Web as well.


I thank God for my church, who has taken care of me for 30 years.  (Notice I said who instead of which. No mistake there.  The church I know is not a building;  it's the people in it.)  They have helped create my values in life, encouraged me to draw close to God in both good and bad times, and they are my second home.


Thank you, Lord, that You have loved me for the past 365 days even though sometimes I clearly don't deserve it.  Thanks for all the rainy days you sent me throughout the year -- they have made me extremely happy!  I'm looking forward to sharing more rain and thunderstorms with You this 2011.  I love You, Lord!  You're the best God ever.

Psa 118:29  Thank GOD--he's so good. His love never quits!  The Message

Some Dads Also Know Best

The past three months, Doy has been working late hours getting his on-the-job culinary arts training at a 5-star hotel. It was difficult for him to adjust at first, having been a husband and father who rarely came home beyond 5pm for the past 12 years. He doesn't like it when he arrives home late and the kids are already asleep. For him, a father's constant presence is required for a child to grow up the happy, healthy way.

So, early in the morning he wakes them up. Miguel and Mia sleepily march out of the room and head for the couch, where the three of them snuggle even for just a few minutes before getting ready for school. Every single moment he spends with the little ones, he cherishes.

You may give your children all the latest expensive electronic gadgets to keep them entertained while you're out killing time on other preoccupations, but these will never make up for your absence.


I admire fathers who take their fathering job seriously. When Doy's best friend, William, was here on vacation from the US, I noticed that he loved reading bedtime stories to his son, Will, and daughter, Adiel. When Will misbehaved, his daddy would bring him inside the room and reprimand him quietly. And the little boy would come out of the room feeling sincerely sorry and eager to play again.


Last week during our kids' school sportsfest (when he probably thought I wasn't looking), my friend and former classmate, James, lugged a set of picnic table & chairs around for three days, with a lunch bag full of snacks and drinks for his two boys, Neil and Ethan. During breaks, his kids would run to him and he would wipe the sweat off their heads and backs, feed them, sanitize their hands with alcohol, and sprinkle them with talcum powder when the games were over.


This kind of fathering you don't learn overnight. It takes years of practice. I am certain that dads who never helped their wives with changing diapers, giving baths, and babysitting would have no idea how to take care of their children when the moms are not around. But for the fathers who do care, their child-rearing experiences have prepared them for battle -- nothing could make them anxious.  An afternoon alone with the little ones sans Mommy? Piece of cake. A day at the mall with a 3-year-old? Bring it on.


Thankfully, I personally know quite a number of men who do nurture their children. These men know the essence of being a father. Just like this dad who once told this story:

It so happened that I was sitting and observing a group of boys, including my son, who sat in a circle nearby. Their conversation went like this:

Child A: "My daddy is a doctor and he makes a lot of money and we have a swimming pool."
Child B: "My daddy is a lawyer and he flies to Washington and talks to the president."
Child C: "My daddy owns a company and we have our own airplane."
Then my son (with aplomb, of course) looking proudly in my direction: "My daddy is here!"

--David Elkind

Men like these may go unnoticed. Some of them will go through life seemingly unappreciated. But God is pleased (and their wives are blessed!). When their children grow up and become good leaders, great parents, and responsible human beings -- then these fathers will know that all the little things they did were not done in vain. It is their legacy to the world.

Proverbs 20:7 Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.

34 and Loathing...er Loving It

Am I the only one who gets depressed on birthdays?

Not that I'm being ungrateful for another blessed, healthy, happy year.   On the contrary, there is much to be thankful for.  I have two beautiful, smart, obedient kids.  I mean, they're the best offspring you could ever ask for.  I have a faithful, loving, hard-working husband -- although he could use a little help in the looks department (yeah, right).  I have a loyal extended family -- the blood-related ones and the spirit-connected ones.   Then there are my ever reliable friends on FB, and even non-FB. (Awww shusssh...life begins at Facebook, you know.)  So I am eternally grateful.

I wasn't always like this.   There was a time when I celebrated a birthday starting on the day before the actual date and even going 48 hours past it.  It was an hourly countdown to midnight and ding! ding! ding!   Happy birthday!!!  I was probably 13 then and in such a hurry to grow up. Every year was like yay, I'm 14...15...16 (what a great age!)...17...18 (I'm allowed to have a boyfriend!).  Why I was in a frenzy to age every year -- your guess is as good as mine.

But then I turned 30...31 (gotta buy a new pair of pants 'cause these just don't fit)...32...33 (are those wrinkles on my face?!)  Ughhh!   Just this morning, I was driving my car while combing my hair and looking at the mirror (yes, you can actually do all three simultaneously) and I saw two strands of silver! Two silver strands in one day!  I had to scream at my 11-year-old son who was in the back seat, "Pull them out, Miguel!  Pull them out!"  My 69-year-old mom in the passenger seat (who doesn't have her 20-20 vision anymore) decided to help him and yanked three strands altogether.

Ouch.

34 is a bizarre age to be, I tell you.   Whoever said that life begins at 40 -- he or she forgot to say that you need a decade of emotional preparation for it.

Perhaps this is what they call a mid-life crisis (at the back of my head, I hope not...or I'll die at 68, God forbid).  'Cause I look at old pictures and weep for lost youth.   Weep for lost innocence.  Lost ignorance.  Lost bliss.  Weep for gained responsibilities.  Gained predicaments.  Gained inches on my waist.  Gained skin.

"That's okay, Babe," my husband says.  "'Cause every time you get a year older, I grow a year older with you."  (Bet Edward couldn't say that to Bella!)  Okay, fine.  Got future problems to face.   Got wrinkles and silver strands.  But will cope.

Cheers to being 34 then. Will have another 364 days before I rant again...to being 35.

Psalms 139:16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Kids Say the Darndest Things 15

(Mia is viewing Taylor Swift's Love Story song video on Youtube and has been repeatedly singing it about five times already.)
MOMMY: "Mia, what are you doing?"
MIA: "I'm practicing."
MOMMY: "Practicing for what?"
MIA: "Me and Shekina are going to sing it together in school. It's fun when we sing it."
MOMMY: "But how did you find that video?"
MIA: "I searched it on Google."


(Mia is watching Toy Story 2)
MIA: "Mommy, she gave Jessie away because she grew up. That's so sad."
MOMMY: "Ya. How about your dolls? Are you gonna give them away when you grow up?"
MIA: "I don't know." (thinks) "I have an idea. I think I'll..."
MOMMY: "Give them away to other children?"
MIA: "No. I think I'll give them to my own kids."


(Spending time at SM on Miguel's 11th birthday)
MIA: "Mommy, I want to go to Little Ones (a place for toddlers and small kids). But Kuya doesn't want to go with me."
MOMMY: "Honey, maybe because he's not little anymore?"
MIA: "Hmmm..."


(August is the month for celebrating the Filipino language. Mia comes home from school excited)
MIA: "Mommy, you know? We're gonna have Buwan ng Linggo!"


(Miguel is trying on pants at SM)
MOMMY: "Kuya, your tummy's getting big. You should exercise."
MIGUEL: "I'll exercise if you buy me an exercise machine."
MOMMY: "We do have an exercise machine."
MIGUEL: "Yeah. But we use it as a hanger."
(Okay...he has a point.)


(Mia close to tears on a Saturday afternoon)
MIA: "Mommy, I want to watch a Barbie movie with Kuya, but he won't watch with me."
MOMMY: "Why do you think doesn't Kuya want to watch Barbie with you?"
MIA: "Because he's a boy?"
MOMMY: "Yep."


(Mia begged to sleep in our bed while hubby and I were still talking)
MIA: "I have a joke."
DADDY: "Hey, I thought you were sleeping."
MIA: "I'm sleeping while I'm talking."

Kids Say the Darndest Things 14

(Miguel is reading The Bobbsey Twins and the Mystery of the Tag-along Giraffe)
MIGUEL: "Mommy, is there such thing as a Filipino giraffe?"
MOMMY: "No. Why?"
MIGUEL: "Because it says here that it's a Tagalong giraffe."
(Speaking Tagalog is clearly not his best asset)


(Car conversations)
MIGUEL: "Mia, how do you spell 100?"
MIA: "That's easy. O-N-E space H-U-N-D-R-E-D."
MOMMY & MIGUEL: "Yay!"
MIGUEL: "Spell 1000."
MIA: "O-N-E space T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D."
MOMMY & MIGUEL: "Yay!"
MIGUEL: "Now spell 126,000."
MIA: "O-N-E space H-R..." (pauses) "Ugghh! Are you serious???"
MIGUEL: (giggles) "Yes."
MIA: "But that's so hard, Kuya!" (starts to whine)
MIGUEL: "You can do it."
MIA: "O-N-E space H-U-N-D-R-E-D space T-W-E-N-T-Y-S-I-X space T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D."
(Yay!!!)


MIA: "Mommy, I have a new name, 'k? It's Fast-Cutie-Baby-Smartypants-Who-Remembers-Her-Memories."
(Whatever suits your fancy, honey!)


(Mia is helping Daddy mix batter for the angel food cake in the kitchen. Mommy took a peek.)
MOMMY: "Wow, you're making a cake? That's so nice!" (Mommy leaves to get a camera)
MIA: (whispers to Daddy) "I think she's going to take a picture of us."
(Mommy comes back and takes a photo)
MIA: "See?"


MIA: "Mommy, you know what Cupid is?"
MOMMY: "What?"
MIA: "It's an angel in a diaper with fluffy, blonde hair. He has arrows and if he shoots them at two persons, they will fall in love."
(What brand of diaper does he wear, Mia?)


(Reviewing for the school exams)
MOMMY: "Mia, ano ang pambansang ibon?"
MIA: "Haribon, or Philippine Eagle. Mommy, do you know that the Philippine Eagle eats monkeys?"
MOMMY: "Yes, that's right."
MIA: "Some people think that it's the monkey that eats the eagle."
MOMMY: "Why is that?"
MIA: "Because it's called the Monkey-Eating-Eagle. But it's really the eagle that eats the monkey!"


(Another serious car conversation)
MIA: "Mommy, I change my mind. I wanna be a teacher."
MOMMY: "Why? You don't want to be a nurse anymore?"
MIA: "I really want to be a nurse and a teacher. But if I do both, it's going to be hard. So I'm just gonna be a teacher of Egypt."


(Preparing for the 8PM routine)
MOMMY: "Mia, tell Kuya that he better start devo (devotion & prayer time) in a few minutes."
MIA: (goes inside the room) "Kuya, SENT MESSAGE. It's from Mommy. This message says you better start devo-devo in a few minutes."


(Mommy is shampoo-ing Mia's hair)
MIA: "Mommy, I know where China is."
MOMMY: "Oh? Where?"
MIA: "It's near Japan. Japan is a small country.
MOMMY: "Where did you learn that?"
MIA: "In class. Teacher showed us a map."
MOMMY: "Okay."
MIA: "I also know where America is. There's a North America, and a South America."
MOMMY: "That's great. So, do you know where the Philippines is?"
MIA: "Uh-huh. It's absolutely near Bohol."

Kids Say the Darndest Things 13

(Car conversations)
MIA: "Mommy, I'm tired of being sweet. I want to be a war girl."


(Tita Dobz gave Mia a two-piece swim suit for Christmas and she is rummaging the closets looking for it.)
MIA: "Daddy, have you seen my red bikini?"
DADDY: (looks up from his laptop with a shocked and puzzled look) "Huh??? Who says you're allowed to wear a bikini?"


(On our way to SM)
MOMMY: "Mia, remind me to go to Toy Kingdom today, okay?"
MIA: "Okay, Mommy. Tell me if you forget."


(Quiz time)
MIA: "Mommy, what's 100 + 2?"
MOMMY: "102."
MIA: "Correct! Next, what's 100 + 200?"
MOMMY: "300."
MIA: "Very good! You're learning, Mommy!"


(I guess we're watching too much Glee?)
MIA: "Mommy, I know why Rachel doesn't want Quinn for Finn."
MOMMY: "Why?"
MIA: "Because she loves him more."


(All of us are snuggled up in our own beds for the night)
MIA: "Hey, Mommy!!!"
MOMMY: "Yeah?"
MIA: "You know what's missing from my bed?"
MOMMY: "What?"
MIA: "My water tumbler. I'm sleepy. You go and get it."
(Eh?)


(Just finished reading her first Magic Treehouse book, The Knight at Dawn)
MIA: "Mommy, you know what a moat is?"
MOMMY: "What is it?"
MIA: "It's a river that protects the castle and sometimes it has crocodiles!"


(The three of us were watching Small Soldiers and it's the part where Alan Abernathy destroys a nearby powerline to fry the Commando Elite's chips in an EMP blast)
MOMMY: "What was that explosion?"
MIGUEL: "Oh, it was the EMP."
MIA: "What's that?"
MIGUEL: "Electromagnetic Pulse."
MIA: "Oh.... You know what pulse means?"
MIGUEL: "What?"
MIA: "Pulse means repeated sound."
(Where in the world does a 5-year-old learn these things???)


(Car conversations...again)
MIA: "Daddy, you know what Titing (her classmate) told me today?"
DADDY: "What?"
MIA: "He says he wants to be the next John Lloyd Cruz."

Kids Say the Darndest Things 12

(Mia flipped the sun visor of my Mitsubishi car and found a sticker with Japanese characters on it.  She is a huge fan of Ancient Egypt.)
MIA:  "Mommy, look!  Hieroglyphics!!!"


(After having bought and read a fact book for Mia entitled Ancient Egypt, I give her a short quiz, not expecting a 5-year-old to get anything right.)
MOMMY:  "Who was buried inside the Great Pyramid?"
MIA:  (huge grin)  "King Khufu."
MOMMY:  "Wow, you remembered!  Okay, next.  Describe the crown of Upper Egypt."
MIA:  (huge grin again)  "Bottle-shaped.  And it's white."
MOMMY:  "Yes, it's a bottle-shaped white crown.  Correct!  Now, what is the Great Sphinx?"
MIA:  "It has the body of a lion and the head of a human."
(Move over, Indiana Jones!)


(Rule #1:  Don't play with the i-touch in the car or you'll destroy your eyes.)
MOMMY:  "We have to go buy some groceries at the mall, okay, Mia?"
MIA:  "Okay.  Can I play i-touch in Parkmall, Mommy?
MOMMY:  "Oh no, babe.  Not this time."
MIA:  "Ughhh.  But it's not a moving vehicle!"


(Mia was so amazed watching a song & dance routine on Glee that her jaw dropped.  We caught her with her mouth wide open.  After a minute...)
MIA:  "Can somebody please close my mouth?"


(Mia was complaining in the car about Daddy's teasing the night before.)
MIA:  "But Mommy, I don't like it when Daddy follows everything I do."
MOMMY:  "He's just teasing you, babe, because he wants to see you laugh."
MIA:  "But I really don't like it!"
MOMMY:  "You know, you should be glad you have a daddy who loves you and plays with you.  Some kids don't even have daddies."
MIA:  (long pause, then starts to sob.)  "Awww...that's so sweet.  I can't take it anymore!"
(I thought she was just being a drama queen, but when  I looked at her, big tears were falling down her cheeks!)


(Mia was riding on the grocery shopping cart when she asked me this question.)
MIA:  "Mommy, how do we die?  Do we kill ourselves?"

Kids Say the Darndest Things 11

(Tita Gingging is wondering where three of her virtual fish went. Mia is the last one who used the virtual aquarium on her i-touch.)
TITA GINGGING: "Mia, what happened to my white fish? I had three fish in the aquarium."
MIA: "I sold them."
(Better be prepared. By the time she's 6, she'll be selling our stuff on e-bay.)


(Ummm...is this in the dictionary?)
MIA: "Mommy, can I be your virtual family's take-carer?"


(Our subdivision usually has an annual prize for the house with the nicest Christmas lights. Papa Ben's Christmas decor never comes down after the holidays. They're there all year round.)
MIGUEL: "Daddy, we're the winner of the Christmas decorating contest."
DADDY: "Really?"
MIGUEL: "Yes, because Papa Ben's Christmas lights have been up since last year!"


(Playing school with her Barbie dolls in the next room while Mommy's resting in bed)
MIA: "Okay, are you finished? Pass your art work.... (pause)"
"Did I say Row 2? Sit down."
"Row 1, stand up, push your chairs, form a line, and give me your art work."


(Practising his Filipino vocabulary)
MOMMY: "Miguel, what's the Filipino word for BALL?"
MIGUEL: "That's easy. It's BOLA!"
MOMMY: "How about BOOK?"
MIGUEL: (Eyes squinting) "Ahhh...BUKA?"


(Mia is thumping her fingers heavily on Daddy's keyboard and shouting at his laptop.)
MIA: "Taste the fury of my giants, you!"
(I should ban her from playing Miguel's war games, eh?)


(Mia is feeling bubbly and talking to Miguel in the car. Sometimes I forget she's only 5 years old...)
MIA: "Kuya, my classmates want to play Bang Howdy on the computer. Are you up to the challenge?"


(Make that a 5-year-old with long-term planning skills...)
MIA: "Mommy, if our turtles die, can we have a puppy?"